


Degrees of Spring

by moonsuoh



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:55:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23418589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonsuoh/pseuds/moonsuoh
Summary: this was my first fanfic 👉🏻👈🏻say hi ontwitter:)
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 18





	Degrees of Spring

“Iwa-chan!”

Iwaizumi turned to find the familiar voice. His eyes met those of his childhood friend Oikawa as the boy ran to him, a bag of groceries hanging off of his arm, bouncing with each rushed step.

“You’re so mean! Why did you leave me at the store?”, Oikawa pouted, still short on breath.

“You have something in your hair.” 

Iwaizumi reached to pick the pink blossom that had fallen into Oikawa’s hair, hesitating for a second at the softness of the petal’s momentary bed. Dropping it beside them onto the ground, Iwaizumi looked back at Oikawa’s face, taking note of the similar shade of pink quickly spreading, from his nose to his cheeks to his ears.

“Anyways, I can’t believe we’re graduating tomorrow”, Oikawa quickly turned away and began toward the swings, closely followed by Iwaizumi.

They sat next to each other on the same two swings as usual, quietly eating the milk bread Oikawa had produced from the plastic bag on his lap. Iwaizumi watched as the boy next to him peacefully swung back and forth, a cool spring breeze lightly brushing the brown hair off of Oikawa’s face, and studied the small smile that played on his lips, the crumbs just next to it, and the way that the light danced across his eyes.

“I’m glad we’re going to the same university Iwa-chan”, Oikawa turned to smile at Iwaizumi. As always, his smile was brighter than the sun, and Iwaizumi wished he could bathe in its warmth forever. Oikawa had been set on convincing Iwaizumi to go to university together since they were second years, not realizing that there was never any convincing to do in the first place. Iwaizumi would never consider anything that would separate them; Oikawa was his first, and only, love. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with the idiot next to him, but he wasn’t sure his friend understood the extent to which he meant that. So, he would do anything to stay by his side, even if his feelings were never fully returned. 

Iwaizumi’s phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket. “New Email: Re: Opportunity to Join Our National Volleyball Team”. He cleared the notification without a second glance.

“I hope we return here after high school”, Iwaizumi thought out loud.

“What?”

“Nothing. We should head home.”

\---

The next day, Iwaizumi stood outside Oikawa’s house, waiting for him to answer the door. It was the day of their graduation ceremony, and, naturally, he had planned to walk there together. 

“Iwaizumi-kun? Are you looking for Oikawa? He left a while ago..”, Oikawa’s mother answered.

Checking his phone, Iwaizumi realized Oikawa had, in fact, messaged him that morning. “gonna go ahead this morning :P have a surprise, wait for me !!”.

_ Dummy. _

\---

Iwaizumi stood at the front gate of the school. He had been waiting for Oikawa, but he knew that if the boy didn’t appear in the next few minutes, they would both be late to the ceremony. Busy on his phone, he didn’t notice the blaring sound of the sirens until they sounded as if they were almost right in front of him. 

_ What’s going on? _

The ambulance stopped straight ahead of him, just a couple streets away from the school.

_ I better go before that idiot gets in the way rushing here at the last minute. _

Iwaizumi stood next to the ambulance, looking around for his friend. “Y-your uniform”, a woman approached him, her petrified face submerged in tears. “He was in a rush and didn’t look-” the woman continued, leading Iwaizumi to the other side of the ambulance.

_ That idiot- _

Iwaizumi’s feet suddenly froze to the ground. He forgot how to breathe. He couldn’t understand. They were supposed to graduate today, go to college together, find an apartment. So why was Oikawa’s body sprawled across the unforgiving pavement? Why was his leg bent at such an uncomfortable angle? Why was his beautiful hair stuck together in crimson clumps? Why?

\---

Iwaizumi hated hospitals. He hated how cold the chairs were in every room, how cold the alcohol-scented air sat still, and he hated how cold everyone was when there were so many lives hanging on some invisible, thin line. What he hated the most was how cold Oikawa was, laying in the hospital bed as if he were just taking a nap. But Iwaizumi knew he wasn’t just asleep; his hands felt like ice, his cheeks had no color, and worst of all, Oikawa wasn’t smiling. It was as if he wasn’t there, yet Iwaizumi was looking at him, as he breathed in an unnatural way. 

“Iwaizumi-kun”. Iwaizumi jumped at the sudden sound of Oikawa’s mom calling him. He turned to see her grief-ridden face, dried tears lining her cheeks. She was fiddling with something behind her back.

“Iwaizumi-kun. The medics said they found this in... his pocket.”

She couldn’t even say Oikawa’s name.

Oikawa’s mom held out a small, tattered box. It was covered in black felt and dents.

“You know.. how much he liked you right?” Iwaizumi took the box and looked back up to her, watching a pained smile slowly stretch across her face.

Once she left, Iwaizumi rolled the box around in his hands a bit before deciding to open it.

Iwaizumi opened the delicate box, only to drop it.

_ No. _

A small circle of metal fell out and slid across the cold tile, stopping at the edge of Oikawa’s bed. 

_ No. _

Iwaizumi fell to his knees, his vision blurry with tear-filled eyes. He crawled across the floor to pick up the fragile ring.

It was cold.

The ring slid on perfectly.

Still shaking from the endless sobbing, Iwaizumi went back to find the box. He took out the second ring that it held, and walked to stand beside Oikawa’s body. Tears fell off of Iwaizumi’s face, landing on the cold arm before him, and he lifted the limp hand, placing the second ring on Oikawa’s finger.

“W-why”, Iwaizumi choked out, “why couldn’t you just wait for the light?”

\---

“You’re still here?”

Iwaizumi opened his eyes to find Matsukawa and Hanamaki entering the room. He hadn’t even realized he had fallen asleep.

“You haven’t gone home for a week. Go take a shower and get some real food”, Hanamaki handed him a steamed bun.

“Yeah”, added Matsukawa, “go take a walk and get some sun”.

Iwaizumi took a bite. He didn’t want the sun. He wanted Oikawa.

“Look”, Hanamaki sat in the chair beside him, “you and I both know Oikawa would hate you if you sat here and wasted your life away. Didn’t that national team contact you again and extend their offer? Maybe its a sign. Everything here reminds you of the… situation and depressed you, and the doctors said he wasn’t gonna get better. Maybe its your chance to forget-”

Iwaizumi suddenly stood up.

“Don’t talk about what you don’t know.”

He walked out, leaving his friends and food behind. How could they suggest something so wrong? Forget about the only boy he has ever loved, especially after finding out the feelings were mutual all along? They didn’t understand. They could never understand.

He sat on a bench in front of the hospital. His cold body was soaking up the sun’s warmth.

He hated it.

\---

“Do you have everything?”

Iwaizumi was with Hanamaki and Matsukawa again, but this time they were somewhere much louder and full of life.

“Yes yes”, Iwaizumi shifted his bag further up his shoulder, “I have to go or I’ll miss my flight.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to say goodbye to Oikawa before you leave?”

Iwaizumi stopped.

Without looking back, he replied, “The doctors say he’s not even there anymore. There’s no point”. With a heavy sigh, Iwaizumi went on his way, leaving everything he knew, and loved, behind.

\---

A year later, Iwaizumi was back.

His team had a game in Tokyo, and he was in the starting lineup. He spent most of his energy trying to block out intrusive thoughts; thoughts of all the people he never texted, the places he never went back to, and the person he never said goodbye to.

The teams were on a break before the next set. Iwaizumi was sweating, and just wanted to finish the game so they could leave. His teammate handed him a water bottle, and he tilted his head back to take a sip.

Something caught his eye.

Iwaizumi started choking, alerting his teammates as they gathered around him, but he pushed them out of the way.

_ It can’t be- _

He looked back up to the stands, locking eyes with him. His first love. His  _ alive _ first love.

Oikawa’s face drained of color, and he jumped out of his seat, running out of the stands.

Iwaizumi took off out of the court and into the halls of the arena. He didn’t hear his teammates and coach shouting for him; he felt as if he were drowning, and all he could hear was the sound of his racing heart. He struggled to breathe.

He was finally catching up to Oikawa and could see him down the hallway.

“Oika-”

The boy in front of him suddenly collapsed, and Iwaizumi was quickly by his side.

“A-are you-”

“I’m fine.”

Oikawa managed to pick himself up, clearly struggling but refusing any help.

He tried to hide his limp, but it was no use. He never fully recovered from the accident.

Iwaizumi reached out to keep Oikawa from falling again. He held the boy’s hand. He still wore the ring. “Oikawa your leg-”

Oikawa pulled away, quickly regaining his balance, “Don’t. I told you I’m fine. I’ve been fine this whole time without you. Go… you have a game to finish.”

“Wai-”

Iwaizumi suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around, and stood face to face with his worried teammate. “What are you doing?? Coach is gonna kill you. Let’s go.”

Iwaizumi turned to find Oikawa, to beg him to wait, but he was gone. Again.

\---

The game had ended, and Iwaizumi told his coach he had something to take care of.

The sun had set, leaving Iwaizumi alone and cold. He could hear the creaking of the swing under his weight as he swung back and forth in the darkness. It was spring again, but nothing was as beautiful as it was a year ago. The air was stiff, there were no falling pink petals, and no brown head next to him for them to land on. This spring, Iwaizumi was alone.

The sound of crunching leaves broke the silence. Iwaizumi looked up to see his teammate approaching the playground.

“Dude is this where you’ve been this whole time?? Coach sent me to look for you.. again.”

“He’s not coming.”

“Huh?”

“I thought he would come”, Iwaizumi sullenly stood to walk back with his teammate.

“Are you talking about that friend you grew up with here? I thought you left him behind.”

“He was… he is the love of my life. I would never leave him behind.”

Iwaizumi then heard the slightest sniffle. Almost as if someone were crying.

“Wait-”

He looked around the playground, praying that behind the next slide or tree he would find Oikawa, but each time he didn’t, it hurt a little more.

_ If he’s not behind this tree, he’s not here. Just give it up Iwaizumi. _

Iwaizumi stopped in his tracks. Looking down, he saw Oikawa hugging his knees to his chest, crying with his back to the tree.

“Oikawa…”

There was no response.

Iwaizumi looked up to his teammate who stood waiting by the swings. “Tell coach to go ahead without me”, he called out.

“Are you insane-”

“I’ll deal with him later.”

Iwaizumi sat next to Oikawa. This wasn’t how he wanted to come back.

“How long were you here?”

Oikawa sniffled, trying to calm down before speaking.

“The whole time.”

_ What is he doing out here alone? It’s cold and dark and… and that means he heard everything. _

“You should go.”

Oikawa had finally stopped crying.

“What?”

“Go.”

“Oikawa stop-”

“I got better a week after you left. I found out you had been turning down amazing opportunities to stay with me. I was holding you back. I don’t want you to throw everything away-”

Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa’s hands and pulled them away from his face.

“Shut up idiot. You  _ are  _ my everything.”

He used his left hand to gently wipe the tears away from Oikawa’s cheeks.

Iwaizumi’s ring was cold on Oikawa’s skin, but his kiss was warm.

**Author's Note:**

> this was my first fanfic 👉🏻👈🏻
> 
> say hi on [twitter](http://https://twitter.com/suohsushi) :)


End file.
